英语翻译MY excuse,if I were to be had up in a court of law,would

英语翻译
MY excuse,if I were to be had up in a court of law,would be that I acted in self-defence.Had I not killed her she would have killed me.She would have plucked the heart out of my writing.For,as I found,directly I put pen to paper,you cannot review even a novel without having a mind of your own,without expressing what you think to be the truth about human relations,morality,sex.And all these questions,according to the Angel of the House,cannot be dealt with freely and openly by women; they must charm,they must conciliate,they must- to put it bluntly- tell lies if they are to succeed.
Thus,whenever I felt the shadow of her wing or the radiance of her halo upon my page,I took up the inkpot and flung it at her.She died hard.Her fictitious nature was of great assistance to her.It is far harder to kill a phantom than a reality.She was always creeping back when I thought I had despatched her.Though I flatter myself that I killed her in the end,the struggle was severe;it took much time that had better have been spent upon learning Greek grammar;or in roaming the world in search of adventures.But it was a real experience;it was an experience that was bound to befall all women writers at that time.Killing the Angel in the House was part ot the occupation of a woman writer.
希望不要是从翻译软件上复制的，不是很通顺，

假如我被押上法庭,我的借口是：我是在进行正当防卫.我不杀她,她会杀我,她要抽掉我作品的精神.没有思想,我怎么表现自己对人性、道德和性别的理解?而“屋子里的天使”们声称女人是不该公开讨论这些问题的.她们要的是可爱、迷人,想成功还得说谎--------说得粗鲁些.我一发现书桌上有她们羽翼的阴影或晕圈的光辉,就拿起墨水瓶向她们投去.上的,扼死她并不容易,她温柔可爱的外表极富欺骗性；而扼死假象中的幻影比扼死真实中的存在更困难.每每我要与其搏斗时,它便隐退了.虽然我自以为我终于杀死了她,但这场搏斗确实惊心动魄,其耗时不亚于学希腊语法,或进行漫游世界的探险.这便是我同时代女作家无从避免的经历.杀死“屋子里的天使”是女作家的职业组成部分之一.