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因为英语课前三分钟老师要求我们利用这3分钟来讲英语的演讲啊英语的笑话

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因为英语课前三分钟老师要求我们利用这3分钟来讲英语的演讲啊英语的笑话
现在搞的我烦操死了,不知道要讲些什么,求简单的笑话简单的哲理笑话和开始演讲前的词,就是什么:今天,我讲的笑话是关于什么什么的.当然,我也求笑话和中文翻译.言而总之总而言之,求一篇3分钟的稿子,英语的,要求要简单易懂!
因为英语课前三分钟老师要求我们利用这3分钟来讲英语的演讲啊英语的笑话
Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.
  "I’m afraid we can’t afford one," sighed his mother.
  But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.
  "How on earth did you pay for that?" gasped his mother.
  "Easy, Mum." replied Amos, "I sold the television!"
A:I have the perfect son.
B:Does he smoke?
A:No, he doesn't.
B:Does he drink whiskey?
A:No, he doesn't.
B:Does he ever come home late?
A:No, he doesn't.
B:I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A:He will be six months old next Wednesday.
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