搜搜考试网请帮在下看看这篇小短文有何改正之处.
来源：学生作业帮 编辑：搜搜考试网作业帮 分类：英语作业 时间：2024/07/09 07:57:57
请帮在下看看这篇小短文有何改正之处.
Last Saturday,the weather was fine and today was Lilei's birthday.In the morning,he held a birthday party and invited his friends.His friends came to here and gave present to him.There were all of foods、many fruits and a big cake.We played games together and we had good time.At 5:00 in the afternoon,they went home.
Last Saturday,the weather was fine and today was Lilei's birthday.In the morning,he held a birthday party and invited his friends.His friends came to here and gave present to him.There were all of foods、many fruits and a big cake.We played games together and we had good time.At 5:00 in the afternoon,they went home.
我的理解 这篇短文是不是说 Lilei's birthday,Last Saturday是他的生日,不是today呢?以下修改是wo按照上面的而理解写的.
Last Saturday,the weather was fine and today（改成it） was Lilei's birthday.In the morning,he held a（特指应改为the） birthday party and invited his friends（办生日不可能早上说办,喊朋友来,他们说来就来了,肯定是先 邀请朋友,然后早上朋友们来了再举办生日的,所以and invited his friends去掉,在下一句话中再提）.His friends（后面加上who had been invited） came to here （改为there）and gave present （复述改为presents）to him.There were all后面加kinds,意为各种各样) of foods（食物不可数,改为food）、many fruits and a big cake(food包括fruits和cake,所以这一整句话改一下顺序就流畅了There were many fruits ,a big cake and other kinds of food).We（以第三人称讲述,we改为they） played games together and we had good time.At 5:00 in the afternoon(下午5点,这样虽然表达不错,但是读起来很别扭,改成At 5pm就比较地道了),they went home.
注：pm下午（Post Meridiem,等于afternoon）
总之,你的这篇短文条理不是很清晰,还有点马虎,要多多练习
Last Saturday,the weather was fine and today（改成it） was Lilei's birthday.In the morning,he held a（特指应改为the） birthday party and invited his friends（办生日不可能早上说办,喊朋友来,他们说来就来了,肯定是先 邀请朋友,然后早上朋友们来了再举办生日的,所以and invited his friends去掉,在下一句话中再提）.His friends（后面加上who had been invited） came to here （改为there）and gave present （复述改为presents）to him.There were all后面加kinds,意为各种各样) of foods（食物不可数,改为food）、many fruits and a big cake(food包括fruits和cake,所以这一整句话改一下顺序就流畅了There were many fruits ,a big cake and other kinds of food).We（以第三人称讲述,we改为they） played games together and we had good time.At 5:00 in the afternoon(下午5点,这样虽然表达不错,但是读起来很别扭,改成At 5pm就比较地道了),they went home.
注：pm下午（Post Meridiem,等于afternoon）
总之,你的这篇短文条理不是很清晰,还有点马虎,要多多练习
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