请问这样的作文,在雅思学术类考试中可以得几分呢?请用力拍砖,给我建议吧.

请问这样的作文,在雅思学术类考试中可以得几分呢?请用力拍砖,给我建议吧.
问题应该是有些人认为工业是否应该投资教育.
Along with the development of industrialization and globalization,an ever increasing people hold the view that industry should take more responsibility for education.In my opinion,I found myself in agreement of it.The reason for thinking this will be given in this essay.
Education plays a more significant role in industry.The reason for why it is vital is that we can never emphasize the importance of technological innovation too much.Only with higher and better machine,can we product better goods and create a better life.In fact,it is the industry that is the most essential part of a country.For example,if some so-called by-products can be recycled by a new machine,we can stop wasting any more and improve the value of the raw material in the same time.However,a new machine needs to be invented by professor who has accepted a higher education.
Moreover,education is necessary to help industry to decrease their cost on new machine imported overseas or employing a professor from other companies or countries.Nevertheless,some people may be firmly convinced that it will cost more to invest education than to employ experts or buying a new machine.In fact,they are just oversimplifying the situation.Although in the short term they are may be right,they are wrong if it is in the long term.Investing in education will be the best choice and spend less money than other ways.What’s more,companies also cultivate their own professors and experts,as well as new machine,which can be exported or employed by other companies and countries for making money.
All in all,industry should do more duties in education in terms of investing.Not only making more and more money in a long term but also declining the dependence of exporting.

6-6.5,理论值.基本没有语法错误,结构清楚.