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求改雅思小作文,望各位大神评价建议+打分 顺便能分享一个互改雅思作文的平台,

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求改雅思小作文,望各位大神评价建议+打分 顺便能分享一个互改雅思作文的平台,
Cam6,test 4,writing 1 剑6 test 4
The charts offers the information about populations of the people who is married or divorced in America for 1970 to 2000,and the marital situations of America adults in 1970 and 2000.
Throughout the past 30 years from 2000 in the first chart,USA witnessed the number of marriage changed from steady in 1970 to 1980 to gradually decreased in next 20 years.However,in these 30 years,comparing with the number of marriage,the population of divorces had different tendency:a slightly rising could be found
in the first ten years from 1 million people to 1.4 million people.However,another
population suddenly fell in the year of 1990-2000.From the data,we could
infer that more modern the time is,more people would refuse to get married or
divorce.
In the second chart,comparing with the marital status in 1970 and 2000,the percent of widowed people was nearly at hover at 5-6 percent.However,the percentage of marriage dramatically dropped 10% and the percents of never married and divorce grew much more than before.These data illustrate people tend to be divorced or never get married as time go by.

求改雅思小作文,望各位大神评价建议+打分 顺便能分享一个互改雅思作文的平台,
同学你可以给完整的题目和图表么?这样没法详细修改和打分啊.你留个邮箱呗.
再问: 已发图,请问能继续帮忙修改一下吗?邮箱:369234979@qq.com
再答: 已经给你发了哦