我的英语很烂马上要交一篇申请信···求大神帮我改一下我写的文章···急···

我的英语很烂马上要交一篇申请信···求大神帮我改一下我写的文章···急···
My name is Lin Zhe,18 years old,graduated from Nanjing university affiliated middle school.Since I was interested in English,eager to speak English fluently.When I was a child's dream is to become a business man,and different countries deal with the businessman,so I've been toward this direction diligently.
For me,Business Studies has proved to be a fascinating subject,one that offers un limited professional opportunities.
Which I have found most intriguing,particularly those which relate to any financial considerations.Studying these business subjects at degree level will allow me to explore,a range of stimulating and interdisciplinary topics which I feel will give me a broader understanding towards the theories and practices of management in different organizations in relation to a Financial/Information environment.
I believe that I will grow in both confidence and maturity,preparing me for the opportunity to study at university.My choice of As and A levels,along with other academic and personal achievements have helped to consolidate and support my desire to study Business at degree level.I believe that I will be fully committed to successfully completing Accountancy/Information Business related degree and relish in any opportunities which are given to help me achieve my aspirations in a business related career.
I sincerely hope that teachers can give me this precious opportunity to SBC learning,for SBC is unique,it can give my is unitary resource of other rivals.Pure English teaching will make I master English fluently,with different countries for back dealing with people of a great help,and I think this is very necessary.
If I am lucky enough to be admitted to SBC,so I will work hard to learn professional knowledge,treat the teacher assigned each task,one step at a time.It's easy to say this,but I need to persistent spirit,but I think I have all these qualities.
I have confidence in myself,to SBC more confidence.After four years of study,I will become a business professional.In the SBC study the lives of four years time,will be the best day of my life,in the life most precious wealth!

申请信类似求职信,去搜搜格式就行了.